the ladder
there are ladders,
boundless steps and wood
shrinking and stretching
rejecting the nails we've trusted for years
i am the builder of these conjunctions
i believe in rooftops
and the sun projected through glass
enclosed in materials masculated
here, i sit, alone
mourning the solitude
of the ladder beneath the light
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1 comment:
Second and third stanzas-- outstanding, seriously. First stanza, not bad, but I think its last line, or maybe just even the last part of its last line, is a little off.
" . . . we've trusted for years" just sounds, I dunno, cliche, or it's just a little clunky or sing-songy.
1st stanza: C+
2nd stanza: A+
3rd stanza: A-
overall: A
No grade inflation here. Just my honest, unmitigated opinion. I'd say this may be the best I've read of your poems.
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